20 Songs, Class of 1986 (from what I had in my iPod and in no particular order)

"Don't Stand So Close To Me '86" by The Police: While this re-mix issued that year is not as good, I think, as the original from 19??, I love the reference to "that book by Nabokov." Of course, I didn't know who he was until a woman in Berkeley mentioned LOLITA. Humbert Humbert is such a compelling character.

"In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel: Major confession, I obsessed over this cassette. I'd listen to it while I worked out at home. Doing sit ups and push ups. Not sure why I was so aware of my physique at that time, but I imagine it had to do with Ana Garza, who I imagined singing this song to over and over again. Song is haunting and longing and beautiful.

"Dreams" by Van Halen: Off "5150," first record without David Lee Roth. While I had gotten over the shock of Eddie playing keyboards on "1984," I feared this record would be part of the synthesizer-happy era (i.e., not rockin' enough). I am surprised that listening to it now it grabs you by the throat, nice bass and drumbeats by the ever-steady Michael Anthony and Alex.

"Dear God" by XTC: One of those quirky bands that discovered me in Berkeley (1987-1988). My roommate Joe (really José ) from So. Cal. was a music fiend who had countless records in pristine condition and a few cassettes. My own tape collection grew so much that year since I spent any extra change at Rasputin's on Telegraph. Every time I re-discover this song, I find its tone both praising and irreverent.

"Secret Separation" by the Fixx: Another song, like "In Your Eyes," that I learned the lyrics for and imagined a female audience for them. Its predictable electronic beat plays behind a British vocalist. While there were so many of these imported New Wave bands around, I always go back to this song off their Greatest Hits.

"Missionary Man" by Eurythmics: Opening track of off "Revenge." While their band name is still one of the coolest ones ever, most think of Annie Lennox as the band (Dave Stewart, of course, did his own thing too). Love Lennox's voice, style, attitude--a David-Bowie androgyny that confuses/attracts. She is one of the performers that I regret never seeing live (also Gabriel, Cobain) and still hope to one day.

"If You Leave" by OMD: Ok, I dare you to name one person reared in the `80s who didn't/doesn't welcome hearing this song. I just learned that OMD wrote and recorded it like in 1 week for use in "Pretty in Pink." Like the movie, the hit song holds up as a touchstone of pop hits. And, it's easy to dance to, right?

"Once in a Lifetime" by Talking Heads: I love these guys. And that they were art students before coming together seems appropriate. Their music always catches my ear. David Byrne's voice is odd and melodic while the arrangement seems more about experimentation than being a dance single. Dare I say that there music is timeless?

"Pretty in Pink" by Psychedelic Furs: True story, I met these guys at a Tower Records in Berkeley. Ditched classes to line up for autographs. Somewhere there is a cassette with all their signatures. I wasn't that much of a fan as much as curious about meeting one. I do like the singer's aching tone, and of courses, images from the movie always play along with the song. We recently bought the movie and found that it still plays well, like the song.

"In Between Days" by The Cure: While not my favorite song by them (maybe "The Caterpillar" or "Close to Me"), I do love their songs from this period. It's catchy in its breathy rhythm and yes synthesized beat. Robert Smith is one of those kooky icons from this decade, wild clothes, wilder hair, and make-up. His appearance, like Lennox or Boy George, dares you to stereotype him. Which leads you to admire a song titled "Boys Don't Cry."

"Don't Get Me Wrong" by The Pretenders: Even before I saw them open for U2 in Oakland in 1987, I'd seen their videos on MTV. I wouldn't be able to name any other members of the band except Chrissie Hynde. Like Joan Jett and maybe Courtney Love (before flipping out), Hynde rocked it out with the best of them in a testosterone world. There's something straight forward about this song, like an Elvis Costello tune.

"Blood & Roses" by the Smithereens: (You'll like this song if you don't know it.) I was surprised to see that this was from `86. My old friend Danny Casillas turned me on to this band in late eighties. Seeing them live at the Mesa Inn, an intimate room in a cheesy motel on Mesa Street, is still one of the best visceral moment of music for me. They played their hearts out (a la Cheap Trick) back in the day. I loved that the lead singer jumped into the crowd and was able to frolic there for a song or two. He grazed me when he fought his way back. Good time.

"What You Need?" by INXS: Before the surviving members went Reality TV, there was a soft place in my heart for this band. Albums like "Shabooh Shoobah," "Listen Like Thieves," and "Kick," in particular, have more than one cut that just all out jams. You can raise the volume and drive for miles to this music. Don't know much about Australia, but thank goodness for this import. (I won't even comment on this incarnation...but would Led Zeppelin ever have a show to replace John Bonham, Queen..., Nirvana...?)

"R.O.C.K. In The U.S.A. (A Salute To 60's Rock)" by John (not Cougar) Mellencamp: Off of "Scarecrow," released in `85, which has bigger hits than this one. I chose this song because it's fun and makes key references to his musical predecessors (including El Paso-born Bobby "I Fought the Law" Fuller). Having recently listened to the whole album, I think it holds up very well. Both politically-aware and musically sound.

"Everybody Wants To Rule The World" by Tears for Fears: Released in `85, another English band (UK New Wave indeed) that I still enjoy listening to. While the song probably gets overplayed, I'm moved by its pace and composition. And the title seems prophetic and aware, unlike some of today's pop music. Not to say the eighties stuff was profound, but Tears for Fears (another great name, and it rhymes), all of its two members, seemed to care about more than just their funky hair.

"Graceland" by Paul Simon: From the very first CD I owned (and still have) along with Billy Joel's "Greatest Hits." Mom bought me a Sony CD player for my 19th birthday for about $200. That damn thing broke down so much that I got tired of taking it in for repairs. Replaced it with a Pioneer 6-cd changer soon after. "Graceland" is still one of my favorite narrative songs. The journey--internal and external--fit Simon's voice, and to hear Willie Nelson sing it, I think that the song is everyone's. Where's my Graceland? "Will we all be received in Aztlá n?"

"Bizarre Love Triangle" by New Order: While I never really loved NO like some other people, I cannot deny having danced to this song more once (especially at Club 101 here in EP). What frustrates me about this song and others is that there are so so many re-mixes that ran forever. How was I to know when the song ended? Right now, as this version (clocking in at 6:42) plays, I am already sweating and feeling a bit bored by the programmed backbeat that seems to be playing on a loop (like some hip hop). I was intrigued that the group was formed from Joy Division, whose singer hung himself. Bands outliving themselves (former selves) seems mythological somehow. (How many of the bands on this list actually stayed together from day 1?)

"Something So Strong" by Crowded House: I really liked this first album by the New Zealand band (made from members of Split Enz). More than one hit on this record that I need to get on CD. I was sad to hear that their drummer hung himself last year. I guess if the music stops, then the other voices in our heads are heard. Not what I intended to write for an uplifting song, but it does remind me that musicians die, just like writers, while our work makes it way to mindless lists.

"Kiss" by Prince: My favorite reference for Prince is that I went to an Iron Maiden concert at EP's Coliseum instead of seeing Prince in Las Cruces. I find it apropos that I chose metal over purple. I wrote a review of IM concert for school paper and my off-on-off girlfriend reviewed Prince's show. I now respect Prince's music, and his sense of himself as an artist, much more than I did then. This song, I re-learned, is from a movie. Funky at its best.

"Fall on Me" by R.E.M: From "Life's Rich Pageant," which Joe played in our CAL dorm room along with the band's early albums. Probably the first time I heard the term 'College Rock'. I didn't really like their music until I purchased "Document" at Rasputin's. Saw them live in Austin and Las Cruces. I like to think of them as a band from the past although I respect Stipe's commitment to the worlds outside of music. I also liked "Superman" from this LP. Favorite R.E.M album? Probably "Document" although I haven't heard "Out of Time" in a while.

First Encounters with Van Halen, Part 2

As I was writing my last post, I was both delighted and disturbed by another memory. Delighted because I remembered listening to 5150 during the summer, before and after playing baseball in the Oklahoma summer sun. This would be when I was between 7th and 8th grades. For example, after taking batting practice at a large baseball compound in Tulsa, I would hop back in the car with my dad, put the Walkman headphones on--this was 1986--and listening to songs like "Get Up" on the way home. Or, later that night, small boom box at the head of my bed, behind a pillow, I'd fall to sleep with "Best of Both Worlds" on. I distinctly remember this.

But then I was disturbed because I have always remembered that trip to my friend David's as my Van Halen initiation. But perhaps it was a different kind of initiation. By then--this the fall of 1987--I had traded the ball and bat for an electric guitar--a shiny black Fender Strat made in Japan. Now I dreamed of sounding the heart electric. Oh, I still liked sports, and baseball in particular, but because I thought/felt I was too small to play on my school team (which was comprised of a pool of boys from a student body of 2K) I turned my interests to the art of making music. Plus, I couldn't hit for shit.

Somehow, between listening to 5150 before/after my middle school baseball practice/games and hearing "Eruption" played throughout David's house, I got into the likes of Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, Chuck Berry, all the 50s' rock. So, I guess I figured I hadn't really fallen in love with VH's music just yet. I mean, it's not like listening to 5150 in the 7th grade changed my life like hearing that one track from Van Halen I. Maybe that's why it's a different kind of initiation.

By the way, today--many years after having bought every VH album on cassette and then on CD, because for a while I had a CD player on my boom box but only a cassette player in the car--5150 is the album of theirs that means the most to me. It's my favorite album of theirs. It's the spirit of the album that I love--fun, intense (in a couple spots), funny. But I'll admit that some of its songs cannot compare to some of their songs with David Lee Roth. This is to say that I could really care less if David or Sammy is singing lead with the band, though I don't think "the third guy" was worthy of singing back-up on an album being recorded in the studio next to Van Halen's--though I guess Van Halen records their stuff at Eddie's private studio.... Anyway, Van Halen/Van Hagar--I don't care. But today, as I write this, it's 5150 that I have in the tape deck--that's right, I'm listening to a cassette, and am loving it--and I am reminded of how good it made/makes me feel.

What I love about this story of mine--my three first Van Halen experiences (1984, 5150, "Eruption") is that each connects me to a specific time in my life. That's why music is important to me. It doesn't exist outside of any experience. But it reminds me of a time and place. And I will always remember David for introducing me to Van Halen, and for many other reasons--as I have known him since birth in the way an infant "knows" someoone since birth. He was a best friend of mine. And then his family moved to Louisiana. And on that visit there, he gave me something that kept me afloat during some lonely years. Appropriate since I would sort of lose touch with David, except through various tales told from his mom to mine, as our families have remained in touch.

The night before David moved, I stood in our unlit living room and cried-howled. When I heard Van Halen (and Eddie's guitar, especially when David played "Eruption") I understood beyond language that such raw emotion--be it dark or sad or joyful--could be transformed into sound, something tangible but not, and so it felt like a religious experience. And that day in Louisiana I felt more human and alive, a little bit older, because I had discovered something for myself, with the help of a friend, and not under the watchful of a coach or in front of a parent's guiding hand.

The Van Halen Figure Set & My First VH album, Part 1

I had never compared the VH emblem to Superman's. Never thought they looked like super action heroes on that cover. But now I see it. I get it. I love it.

Someone should make little plastic dolls of the band. The David Lee Roth doll would be able to do splits. Michael Anthony would look loaded on Jack Daniels. Bottle in hand. Eddie would come with the racing-stripped guitar. And a synthesizer. Alex with a huge set of drums and a headband. And then there would be a little person, the guy who served the original line up whiskey mid-show at the US festival in 1983. And then there would be Sammy, joint in one hand, looking more and more like Animal from the muppets. And then the next singer, whoever that was. And then included on a little card would be this old Mother Goose rhyme:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.

I even see a cracked egg holding a red guitar with black and white stripes all over it.

Do I sound irreverant? Only because I used to revere this band. Used to dream they would visit Tulsa in the late 80s so I could camp out for tickets. Used to dream I'd get my hands on a pick thrown by Eddie. Used to dream I could play the guitar like he did, as expressively as he did. It was his playing that ignited my imagination when I was in the 9th grade.

Sure, in 1985, I owned a copy of 1984 and loved it--technically my first VH album. And I loved it when the "Panama" and "Jump" videos aired on MTV. But I wasn't ready for VH in fifth grade. I just liked their music tossed into the pop mix on K107, which featured other great songs like "Man Eater" by Hall & Oates and Prince's "1999."

But then visiting a friend of mine--David Kessinger--he played "Eruption" for me over the loud speakers throughout his house. I sat there in his living room, that fiery guitar sound echoing from the kitchen, the hallway, the dining room, his room. I couldn't believe my ears, the rise and fall of sound, as if Eddie were piloting some stunt plane, taking it up high, 5,000 feet, before cutting the engine and letting it drop low, low, dangerously low to the earth before suddenly evening out and turning on the jets and breaking the sound barrier. Later that night, David's father drove us to a record store and I bought Van Halen I on cassette. On the airplane home, the lady behind me asked me to stop stomping my feet while the record blared in my ears. I couldn't hold still. She might have also asked me to turn down the volume. I remember thinking "Fuck off" but also turning it down a notch, either my feet or the tape player. When one side ended, I flipped the tape and promptly pushed play.

After that, my life was not the same.

Love this Album cover

Before I even heard the opening guitar licks, I was in love with the cover. Four posed rock heroes. Eddie above brother Alex. David and Michael Anthony by their sides. Their images are liquid fire. Smoking tributes to their hard rock band.

The VH emblazoned in the middle is like the S on Superman's chest. It's a silver stamp that found its way to many notebooks, jean jackets, bedroom walls. A superhero rock band, lead guitar, drums, bass, and vocals. The way rock should be played. Loud and hard.

No mistaking Eddie's chops on those early albums, before he took his fingers to the keyboard. I was in jr. high when I saw this album in a local Safeway store on North Loop Road. While my mom shopped for groceries, I wandered to the small table where they had LPs. There was no order. No categories. Probably somewhere between the shampoo and rice&bean aisles.

When I came upon the LP, I must've thought it was a painting more than music. I held the shrinkwrapped square and imagined what sounds it must make. I didn't buy it. (First LP I remember buying is REO Speedwagon's "Hi-Infidelity". And before I scored VH's first record (on 8 track no less since that's what we had in our living room stereo), my connection to Eddie and the boys was Scott Rostro. My gringo bud from jr. high. He had a notebook made to look like Eddie's guitar. He'd used black tape to make the race stripes. He also played guitar although I never heard him play.

While I never saw the first lineup of VH, I do remember my first "Van Hagar" concert at the Pan Am in Cruces. We had floor tickets, and early on, I made my way to the front, close to the stage. Whether by luck or a fluke, I ended up on the side where Eddie was posed on some large speakers. While they went through most of "5150," I was amazed that I was only a few feet from Eddie Fucking Van Halen. His crazy hair was all sweaty, cigarette on his bottom lip, fingers wailing.

The guitar pick I have from that concert is a reminder of that night. Of one of my first loves to rock. And it all seemed to have started with this album cover of four dudes posed in action. Action stars. A movie of their own creation. A sound that would stay in my ears for decades.

Even now, probably 30 years from that day in the grocery store, I listen to VH and feel their music in my crotch, giving birth to an impulse to jump, scream, rock out.

VAN HALEN Rocks!!